Sample 1

Intention—Attention—Protention

It all begins with intention. Maybe you’re thinking of buying a Honda Civic. Suddenly you notice them everywhere! Or your friend is talking about a trip to Peru and you begin to notice things in the news and even at the store that relate to Peru.

What are intentions? In-tensions. They are the unanswered questions we carry inside. What should I say? What should I do? If I take this action, what will happen? We worry about these things. And worry is simply indecision. Instead, I suggest that you imagine what you would like to have happen. Now I don’t mean that your boss is going to come to your cube, inform you of a $30,000 raise and tell you that it’s okay to telecommute from his apartment in Hawaii for the rest of your life! It’s smaller and more specific than that. It’s focusing inward and asking what you would like to have happen.

Notice if one option makes you feel better than another. For example, compare “having more time to complete this project” and “having another person to help complete this project.” Which one feels like it’s what you really want? Which one makes you feel calmer? More peaceful? If you’re still not sure, keep asking yourself “What do I really want?” and LISTEN for the answer. Don’t listen to the critical voices, or the arguing voices, or the voices that are not your own. Many people have voices in their heads that belong to their mothers, fathers, teachers, nuns, bosses, and other critical, negative people in their life. I am talking about listening to YOUR voice. The voice of your authentic self. The voice of the child inside who always knows what he/she wants.

Watch children. The younger they are, the more easily they make decisions. It’s fascinating! They make choices easily because there aren’t external voices which have been internalized and so children connect with themselves more easily. They may not always think about the implications of their choices because it’s not about THINKING it’s about FEELING. We judge whether a decision is good or bad. But aren’t we really “judging” whether we feel bad or good about the decision? Eating that chocolate chip cookie at lunch. Bad decision or good? Did you eat to alleviate stress? Or to reward yourself? Isn’t good or bad determined by whether you feel guilty or satisfied?

Notice and decide on what would ease the in-tensions.

Once our intentions are voiced—either said aloud or written—we have shifted to intent-i-on. That is, what you are intent on. Now your intention is clear and your attention is focused.

At-tension. Tension is not a bad thing. Tension is merely energy. When you fill a glass of water it is tension—cohesion of molecules—which allows it to be filled slightly more than the top of the glass without spilling over. When our at-tension is focused, our energy is centered on things that are pertinent to our desire. These things may be have been present before. But, our energy was focused on our indecision. By making a decision about what we want, we have freed ourselves to notice what will serve us best. We are free to notice the opportunity, which was really there all along. We can direct our energy to the present; to where we are at. Attention.

This brings us to what I call a state of protention. Pro-tension is when there is chance for prosperity; propensity for what we want exists. Energy is “tipped” in our favor. You will be faced with choices when you reach this state. Having clear intentions will enable you to make the choice which will make you feel the best, thus serving you best. The tension inside of you will be in harmony with the tension outside—remember tension here is not a bad thing, merely energy. Your energy will be aligned with what’s happening outside of you so it will feel comfortable. You will naturally and effortlessly fit into what is happening.

So how can you get some of this opportunity? It all begins with setting your intentions.

Many people begin their week with writing a To Do list. Look at your list closely. Are the items on there really, REALLY what you want? You may have written “exercise 3 times this week.” Is that your intention? Or is your intention to have better cardio-vascular health? Or to lose 5 pounds? Or to fit into that suit you’ve been eyeing?

Let’s say that your intention is better cardio-vascular health. There might be many opportunities for you to accomplish that intention. Take the stairs. Get off one metro stop early and walk a few blocks. Offer to walk your neighbor’s dog when she goes on vacation. But wait….what do you even mean by “better” cardio-vascular health? Do you mean being able to walk two flights of stairs without getting out of breath? Do you intend to lower your blood pressure by a particular number of points? How will you measure “better”? What is your in-tension?

Setting intentions is a very thoughtful process. It helps to be as specific as possible and really focus on what your heart desires.

I had a coaching client who told me that she wanted to eat breakfast every day but that she just wasn’t hungry in the morning. I asked why, then, did she want to eat breakfast? Usually food is about hunger (or about emotional needs or boredom). She explained that she was diagnosed with diabetes and that her doctor said if she could get her blood sugar to stabilize then she wouldn’t have to take insulin. She experimented and found that eating breakfast helped tremendously. But even the thought of food in the morning was unappealing to her.

Through discussion, we determined that her true intention was to stabilize her blood sugar, which made her feel better throughout the day. This shifted her attention. With this new understanding, we began to talk about what constituted breakfast and what was the bare minimum necessary for stabilizing her blood sugar. She discovered that instead of preparing eggs and toast, she could have a tablespoon of peanut butter. Or grab a few almonds in between emptying the dishwasher and feeding the cats. Or share a little tuna fish with the cats. Suddenly she was able to empower her body and feel good throughout the whole day!

I am happy to report that her diabetes is completely under control, without insulin (this is not a medical claim)

Being in touch with our true intentions shifts and focuses our attention.                                                    .

How we state our intentions is critical to success. The cerebral cortex is the part of our brain that directs how we make sense of the world. It mobilizes our nervous system to speak, think, see, hear, and move. In simplistic terms, the neurons transmit signals. Signals equal action. Lack of signal equals lack of action.

Neurons cannot transmit a non-signal. So when you think “I don’t want to eat that candy” what your brain hears is “I eat candy” and that’s what you do. The brain can’t transmit “no”, “not”, “don’t”, “can’t.” I once worked at a job where I had to cut many photographs using an exacto blade. I never had a problem, unless my colleague said “Be careful, don’t cut yourself.” At which point I would cut myself. Yikes! How to counter that? Focus on what you want and write positive, present-tense statements.

If your initial thought it is “I want to lose 5 pounds” ask yourself, if you lost 5 pounds, what would you gain?

If your initial thought is “I want less clutter” ask yourself, if you had less clutter, what would you have more of?

If your initial thought is “I don’t want to eat sugar” ask yourself, what do you want to eat?